Disencumbering the self

A couple of days ago I had the distinct pleasure of going out for the evening...by myself. For those of you who aren't parents, this probably sounds like a really stupid thing to be excited about. But for the parents here, you probably can hear the swell of celebratory music, and imagine the fireworks. This is more significant than usual because I'm currently single-parenting, and don't yet have an established social network on which to rely for babysitters and such. So the trumpets and fireworks were definitely there.

It was especially fun because I went out to see the Pet Shop Boys perform at the SZIN festival in Szeged -- an annual music festival that's pretty awesome. I'm definitely out of touch with concerts, but I haven't ever been to anything in the states that's quite like it. I was expecting something like Bumbershoot (which admittedly I haven't attended in a long time), and in some respects it was similar, but it had a very different feel -- perhaps in part due to the much more casual attitude about alcohol -- but I think mainly in that the stages were closer together, so you never really get away from the walls of music.

The boys and I had gone there during the day and enjoyed the free stuff at community booths, the early concerts, the spontaneous games, and the karaoke. There was a lot to see, and it was early enough that it wasn't too crowded. As we headed out (around 7:30pm) there was a huge crowd of people coming in.

When I returned it was dark, and starting to cool down a bit from the steamy day. It was still plenty warm enough that I got an ice cream and didn't want anything to do with a sweatshirt. I went and stood around with other fans, slowly worming my way a little closer to the stage. It was interesting, though -- unlike other concerts that I've been to (a long time ago) where I was in general admission and on the floor in front of the concert, nobody touched me. We all stood around politely keeping our personal space intact. Even after the concert started we all expressed our appreciation politely, the only impingement being the ubiquitous cell phones that are held up in one's field of view. (This is another new thing for me since I've been in a general admission crowd, and that tells you how long it's been, doesn't it?)

Anyway, one of the best things about the evening was that I didn't bring anything much with me to the concert. As a parent, my normal load consists of a purse that contains essential items like money, wallet, ID, cell phone, and keys. It also contains hand sanitiser, hand wipes, pocket knife, snacks, bandaids, usually at least one water bottle, and anything that my children have recently handed me to hold. If we're going out for a longer time (like we had done that day) then I probably also have a backpack with more water bottles and more food, perhaps sunscreen, and possibly toys that were considered "essential" by my children when we left, and then handed to me to hold about 10 minutes later as they found something more interesting. If we're going somewhere expected to be visually interesting, then I probably have my camera, too.

So most of the time my encumberance is significant. If I were a character in a game I'd definitely have some penalties to my actions. But that evening when I left the apartment all I took was my ID, a small amount of cash, and my keys. No purse. Not even my water bottle (which I regretted a bit, but not enough to change my mind.) It was liberating. One moves around so differently. There is a freedom there that I don't experience very often as an adult.

Even before I had kids I would still have a purse. In college I didn't go anywhere without a backpack. You know what you can't do with a purse or a backpack? You can't run very effectively. You can't do any physical play. Even if it has a shoulder strap, it bounces around. I think this is part of why our bodies stiffen up as we get older. Sure, we age and our bodies aren't as naturally bouncy as they used to be, but we also stop playing, and I think part of the reason is because we encumber ourselves more. The more our encumbrance, the less likely we are to move spontaneously. And then if we're lugging around a bunch of important things - like wallet, cell phone, and camera - we can't just put that bag down and play because we're afraid it might get stolen.

I guess I have as an aspirational goal to minimise my encumbrance. There's not a lot I can do about some of it right now, because I'd rather prevent sunburn, dehydration, and meltdowns. I do want to capture some of the moments (especially right now, when my children are young and we're having an adventure together), but I guess I'll keep this aspirational goal in mind as they grow older, and not forget to leave things behind when I can.